


Kaitou in the Sky with Diamonds

by redrobin1989



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Gen, I meant it to be a crack fic but there's something sad about Kaito just talking to this diamond, Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid Needs a Hug, Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid is a dork, Sometimes he just wants to play around with the pretty gems he worked hard to steal, Thief Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, and friends who won't try to kill/manipulate him, but he is also a 17 year old dumbass with bad ideas and lots of trauma, he is an incredibly skilled thief and magician, no wonder he's in love with Aoko, some light KaiAo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:22:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26737309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redrobin1989/pseuds/redrobin1989
Summary: "That dirty thief," Nakamori-keibu cursed as he watched the Kid make off with his prize once more. "What does that klepto even do with the jewels if he gives them back a few days later?"Kuroba Kaito, admiring the sparkling gem later that evening from his countertop, "I wonder if I could fit this thing in my mouth."
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	Kaitou in the Sky with Diamonds

"That dirty thief," Inspector Nakamori cursed as he watched the Kid make off with his prize once more. He wiped his brow from the sweat from the chase and grimaced when his handkerchief came back stained with glitter. Ginzo was positively _coated_ in the stuff. At this rate, he was going to lose his third dry cleaner in as many months.

"What does that klepto even do with the jewels if he gives them back a few days later?" He grumbled as he glanced around at the typical chaos left in the wake of a Kaitou Kid heist. 

"Maybe he just thinks their pretty," Officer Ogasawara offered unhelpfully. A few of the others on the force nodded in agreement, reminding Ginzo that the lot of them were just standing around doing jack all when there was still hours of clean-up left. They scattered when he reminded them of such. He huffed as that white hang glider disappeared completely from view.

" _Pretty_ ," Ginzo huffed, reaching in his pocket for a cigarette. "As if that damn thief would do it for such simple reasons."

High above the skies of Tokyo, the Kaitou Kid inspected his newly acquired prize. A gorgeous red diamond that was recently on display from Russia, weighing an impressive 84k that fit just perfectly in the thief's white glove. While he didn't care for how the glittering gem looked like blood, he could appreciate quality when he saw it. The Krasnov Diamond certainly deserved it's nickname as the Red Queen. 

"Hmm, not the gem I was looking for," Kid mused as he held the jewel up to the moonlight as saw merely an ordinary, if expertly cut diamond. He'd figured as much but it was always good to check. "Still," Kid purred as he slipped the diamond safely into his inner pocket. "It would be a shame to send a lady, much less a queen, home without showing her a good time."

XxX

"And Aoko," Kaito complained loudly as he placed his dinosaur chicken nuggets in the oven. "Aoko is nagging at me to pay more attention in class and if I wasn't in the top three. I tell her, hey are you listening, this is the best part," the Kaitou Kid now in his civilian persona of the teen magician Kuroba Kaito asked his dinner guest, the Krasnov Diamond. The diamond did not respond, just glittered from it's place on honor on the windowsill above the sink.

"Anyway and I tell her that maybe if she took her own advice and studied harder, she could become smart enough to catch the Kaitou Kid in her dad's place." The teen started giggling at the memory, "And I, oh man it's still funny, I changed her into a little tweed jacket and put a little moustache on her like the Inspector has. You can totally tell that the two of them are related because they both just explode in the most magnificent way. Redder and more captivating than any gem I've ever found."

Kaito's face became softer, the light from the full moon streaming in from his window painting him as white as the thief he secretly was. 1:30 in the morning was a little late for dinner but he never could handle anything heavy just before a heist. All alone in his house, clad in clover decorated boxers and an oversized sweatshirt he'd stolen long ago from his dad's closet as he made chicken nuggets and talked to a gem. Sometimes it hit him just how strange his life was. The light shifted and glinted knowingly off the diamond. 

"I mean Aoko is well, she's a dumb tomboy, you know," he blushed. "She's nothing like a gem, l-like you, she has no elegance or couth or-or, you know, grace. She's more like a tomato, a big, red, mop-wielding tomato. I swear she got closer to taking me out yesterday than her dad and his crew did at the heist. Aoko, a gem, what a joke." His fervent denials were broken up by the alarm on his oven going off.

"Ah my nuggets!" He exclaimed pulling out the tray and lofting them triumphantly over his head. "Now we're talking." He set the table for two, gently setting the diamond atop a throne of pillows with a generous helping of chicken nuggets laid before it. 

"You know, I've always wondered," Kaito asked through a mouthful of nuggets. "If you could talk, you would probably speak Russian. My Russian is, eh, passable. I should probably brush up on it but all those _consonants_. I'm fluent in Japanese obviously but also English and French. I'm pretty decent in Italian and Mandarin and a little less than decent in Russian and German." He made a face, "and don't even _ask_ me about my Spanish, it's shameful."

"What would you have to say, I wonder?" Kaito mused, looking at his empty plate. "Hey are you gonna finish those? Do you mind if I? Thanks," he said swiping the rest of the nuggets off the gem's plate. "I bet you've seen a lot, according to your history you've been around for the better part of a century. You were owned by some minor cousins of the Tsar and then were held in storage during the Revolution. You ended up in Belarus around the time of World War II where people fought and died for you. The Russians claimed you back and kept you behind the Iron Curtain during the Cold War. After that some wealthy Russian family added you to their collection and let you be hosted for various exhibits. For a price of course," he tapped his finger on the table. 

"You ever cross paths with a gem called Pandora?" He asked, staring into the gentle twinkling gem. "Yeah, I thought not. Now, if you'll pardon me, my lady. It is getting to be quite late and it's time for all good little Kaitous to go to sleep." He picked up the gem and gave it a light toss, admiring again it's pleasant heft and way the light danced across it.

"I could probably fit you in my mouth," he noted seriously as he stared down at the jewel. "I won't," he amended hastily. "That's unsanitary also my mom, Aoko and probably my dentist would turn me inside out and flay me." He took a moment to shudder in horror before making his way towards the stairs. "It's not becoming to invite a lady into my bed on our first date so I'll leave you safe and sound in the workshop and we'll chat more in the morning."

He placed the gem delicately on a gem stand his dad had probably purchased for this very reason. From what he could tell, the first Kid had often kept his stolen treasures for days even weeks at a time before returning them. But as much as Kaito could admire a nice stone, he was more eager to find the one he was looking for and move on. 

"I wish you were Pandora," he said somberly, "I don't know how much longer I can keep the show running before I have my own little accident." Kaito rubbed angrily at his eyes. "Okay when you get weepy at gemstones, it's time for bed. Sleep well!" He said, disappearing past the portrait that served as the entrance to Kid's workshop, once more separating the young man from the thief. But he would be back, he always was and the Red Queen would be waiting.

XxX

_"Aoko wants to go out for ice cream!"_ Aoko shouted over the phone, loud enough that he probably could have heard her from her house without use of the phone.

"And Kaito, I mean I, said that I'm busy!" Kaito grumbled. "If you want ice cream that bad then ask Keiko or Hakuba."

" _But Aoko wanted to go with you_ ," Aoko pouted. _"Kid got away with the stupid gem last night and it's made dad all upset. He's going to be at the station waiting for the thief to send it back. I want Kaito to distract me and buy me ice cream."_

"Yeah, I saw he got it this time," Kaito mused, holding up the diamond and watched it flash in the morning light. "That little ankle bitter the Inspector rents out must've been busy." Kudo had been dragged out to Kanazawa for a case when Kaito had sent out his notice so the brat wasn't able to make it in time. As much as Kaito loved the chase, he liked being able to get away with his prize once in a while.

" _Kaito, please_ ," Aoko said softly and he hated it when she sounded like this. Aoko was supposed to be loud and obnoxious, quiet didn't suit her.

"I really do have some stuff I need to do today," Kaito sighed, looking at the opening to the workshop. "But uh, look I'll try and come over tonight, I'll even bring ice cream." 

" _Kaito!_ " Aoko exclaimed happily. " _Aoko will make something good for dinner and we won't have to think about that awful, stupid Kaitou at all. See ya!_ " She chirped before hanging up. Kaito stared at his phone with an exasperated expression. Dealing with Aoko was always like fighting a hurricane. Luckily he was an expert at navigating turbulent headwinds. 

"Well now that the blue lady is satisfied," Kaito purred as he stepped into the workshop and closed the door. The days following a heist were almost as busy as the days preceding. He always checked over his equipment, testing it to make sure everything was in proper working order (and if he thought of his dad's accident as he ran his diagnostics over and over then no one had to know). He also reviewed the heist in detail, making sure he gave nothing away and ironed out little mistakes to be improved upon. Sometimes, while riding the high of a success theft, he'd start planning the next one. Plus he still had to decide how he was going to return the diamond.

"I don't have to you know," Kaito mused out loud as he disassembled and carefully oiled all the joints of his hang glider. "I could keep you. Jii-chan knows some people I could fence you to. I could pay for my schooling like hundred times over, Aoko's too probably. I could buy some really nice equipment so I didn't have to handmake everything. Maybe get a house bigger than Hakuba," the thief commented with a grin. Because it was a joke, a harmless one he never truly entertained. His family was stable enough that he didn't really need the wealth or the trouble the diamond keeping it would bring. 

"Maybe I could return you by drone?" He wondered before frowning, "no winds are too unpredictable and that's too far of a distance to accurately navigate. Plus I'm out a drone. I'm going over to the Inspector's tonight but I can't keep leaving it in his mailbox, he's going to get suspicious at some point." He put down the metalwork to rub at his chin, smearing grease on his face.

"You're, what? 16 grams? That should be more than enough for one of the doves to drop you off. I could attach a little camera and watch the Task Force go nuts trying to catch them," Kaito giggled. "It'll be like the heist, part two." The boy exclaimed, accidentally throwing his wrench off to the side. "Oops. Okay I'll get everything ready and send Yuki out before I go over to Aoko's. That'll give us some time before the Inspector kicks up a fuss." 

"It's been nice talking with you but I'm sure your real owners miss you," Kaito shrugged. "Or, more likely, miss the padding in their wallets. Oh well. Anyways Tantei-kun is definitely going to show up next heist since he missed this one. You want to hear about my thoughts for how to stump my favorite critic? I need to finish going over these rigs but it's nice to have someone to talk to." He said into the empty room, the diamond sat silent.

"Okay so it would involve a large box to smuggle myself in, a few fireworks and lots of kerosene-"

XxX

"Oh yeah, this is the life, huh Queeny?" Kaito said, lounging in the bathtub in his mother's large bathroom. He almost never took baths but nerves early on about letting the stolen gem out of his sight had caused him to start and now it was practically tradition the day after a heist. Kaito sipped from the ice cold lemonade, careful not to disturb his face mask. "I'm going to look so pretty when Aoko sees me she's going to turn green with envy." The diamond, curled protectively in a bathrobe on the toilet did not comment but Kaito laughed anyway.

"You're right, Aoko's not into all that. She is cute, I guess, you know in the way a rabid wolverine is but she refuses to take the time for regular self-care. Hakuba looks like he grooms himself pretty regularly, maybe I should invite him to my next manicure." Kaito ducked under the water and came with his wet hair and facial expression arranged like the detective.

"Kuroba," he said in a perfect imitation of Hakuba, "I accept your invitation but only because I might find evidence linking you once and for all the Kaitou Kid. Also my mean hawk has made an absolute mess of my hands and my OCD can't handle it."

"Akako probably would like to go as well but for less innocent reasons." Kaito ducked under the water again, coming up with a seductive, flirtatious expression. "Oh Kuroba-kun," he said in Koizumi's sultry voice. "My beauty is eternal as a gift from my patron, Lucifer, but I would gladly accompany you so we can forge an unholy bond and live together in terrible bliss." 

"I'm not even going to _ask_ Tantei-kun," Kaito huffed in his own voice, "little demon would just kick a soccer ball at me with the intent to kill."

"Wow," Kaito mumbled, sinking down into the bath. "I need better friends. Or maybe I have the kind of friends I deserve. But at least I have you," he said leaning over the side to grab the diamond holding it up so the bathroom light made it twinkle. "There's no secrets to keep from you, nothing I could do that would anger or disappoint you. You can't arrest, kill or enslave me. I can be wholly myself, Kaito and Kaitou. Before you, my lady, I am bare." 

His slippery hand caused him to lose his grip on the diamond which fell into the tub. The teen squealed, scrambling for the gem as water splashed over the sides of the bath. His fingers kept brushing against and losing the gem. Eventually though, he was victorious. After careful inspection, he found the diamond completely intact.

"Phew," he said, relaxing back into the bath. "Well, you probably needed a cleaning anyway.

XxX

"Alright, you're all set to go. Back to Inspector Nakamori and, from there, back to your owners," Kaito said as he secured the bag on his dove's back. He juggled the diamond one last time before giving it a thorough wipe down with the specialty jewel cleaning cloth, erasing any fingerprints or other identifying marks that remained. "It's been a pleasure. I'm afraid we won't meet again in this lifetime but one perfect encounter can leave a lasting impression. Take care, Red Queen." 

The diamond now securely tucked away, he opened his window and let Yuki take to the sky. She'd made many trips to Nakamori's office and thus would have no trouble finding it. Soon the diamond would be back where it was supposed to be and the Kid would move on to the next big jewel that caught his eye. But that was for later, for now...

"Man," he said looking at his watch. "I need to go get that ice cream or Aoko is gonna kill me." Grabbing his keys and his wallet, the high school student / magician / part-time thief raced out the door. He let the thoughts of the red lady he'd shared the evening and part of the day with fade away as he wondered what ice cream his blue lady wanted. Because all the glittering gems and jewels in the world could not replace the warmth and comfort of a friend at your side. 

**Author's Note:**

> My first DCMK fic is YEARS and it was an absolute delight. Just something fun to get my brain juices going and to write about my favorite thief son.


End file.
